Suuuuubiiiic!
Heya we went home from Subic yesterday afternoon. Stayed there for 2 days. It's a camp for SENIORS in our school. We built our own tents for sleeping. Academic challenges were given too and soooo many activities. It was fun actually. :)
I kinda feel excited too, coz I'll soon be leaving for Palawan and I'll be there 3 days 2 nights! :) EE class! Wooo! Yeeehaaah!!!
Jewel-"Foolish Games" ------------may naiisip ako tuwing naririnig ito! Naku. SARILI KO!
You took your coat off and stood in the rain You were always crazy like that I watched from my window Always felt I was outside looking in on you You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say Besides some comment on the weather Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees These foolish games are tearing me apart Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart You're breaking my heart You were always brilliant in morning Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones As I clumsily strummed my guitar You'd teach me of honest things Things that were daring, things that were clean Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean So I hid my soiled hands behind my back Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself These foolish games are tearing me apart You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart You're breaking my heart You took off your coat and stood in the rain You were always crazy like that
WHY DO I PLAY? I admit. Damn me! I know, I play games and it scares me---a lot. I'm scared that if I stop playing, I'll be out of the run. I love the beginnings of relationships although I most likely see everything as just very close to FLING. You know what I mean. But now, let me say that everything's REALLY DIFFERENT. So apart from all those things I had before. I hate myself. I haven't evolved fully into my own life to actually make a decision as a mature adult. I allow myself to get really close so fast but then it's like something inside of me snaps. I start to pull away, almost withdraw completely and then, just as the man involved has almost given up, I snap back like a human rubber band. Then that person will give up and the cycle goes on. Another person... I wind up alone. FINALLY I found one person who I know WON'T GIVE UP ON ME... I feel sorry, coz my disease is still here... Now I'd rather stop torturing myself and the person involved. I WANT TO CHANGE-COMPLETE CHANGE. Now I'm facing the TWO OPTIONS on how to live our lives. We can base our lives on love or we can base our lives on fear. My behavior is definitely based on the latter. I've been so enslaved by FEAR when I chose it and I'm not capable anymore of choosing what's best for me and for that person.
I will continue to love............... I will.
I kinda feel excited too, coz I'll soon be leaving for Palawan and I'll be there 3 days 2 nights! :) EE class! Wooo! Yeeehaaah!!!
Jewel-"Foolish Games" ------------may naiisip ako tuwing naririnig ito! Naku. SARILI KO!
You took your coat off and stood in the rain You were always crazy like that I watched from my window Always felt I was outside looking in on you You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say Besides some comment on the weather Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees These foolish games are tearing me apart Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart You're breaking my heart You were always brilliant in morning Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones As I clumsily strummed my guitar You'd teach me of honest things Things that were daring, things that were clean Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean So I hid my soiled hands behind my back Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself These foolish games are tearing me apart You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart You're breaking my heart You took off your coat and stood in the rain You were always crazy like that
WHY DO I PLAY? I admit. Damn me! I know, I play games and it scares me---a lot. I'm scared that if I stop playing, I'll be out of the run. I love the beginnings of relationships although I most likely see everything as just very close to FLING. You know what I mean. But now, let me say that everything's REALLY DIFFERENT. So apart from all those things I had before. I hate myself. I haven't evolved fully into my own life to actually make a decision as a mature adult. I allow myself to get really close so fast but then it's like something inside of me snaps. I start to pull away, almost withdraw completely and then, just as the man involved has almost given up, I snap back like a human rubber band. Then that person will give up and the cycle goes on. Another person... I wind up alone. FINALLY I found one person who I know WON'T GIVE UP ON ME... I feel sorry, coz my disease is still here... Now I'd rather stop torturing myself and the person involved. I WANT TO CHANGE-COMPLETE CHANGE. Now I'm facing the TWO OPTIONS on how to live our lives. We can base our lives on love or we can base our lives on fear. My behavior is definitely based on the latter. I've been so enslaved by FEAR when I chose it and I'm not capable anymore of choosing what's best for me and for that person.
I will continue to love............... I will.
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