Letting Go..

I want to share something to you. This is about letting go.

I have realized that the reason I am suffering, stuck, in pain, and paralyzed, is the fact that despite talking, telling, teaching and writing about 'letting go', I don't actually do it!!

I now have to let go of:

The past
My attachment to parents, family, friends
My false self, old self, ego
Attachment to memories, events, places
Fear, even the fear of letting go
Guilt
Blame
Shame
Doubt
The known, ideas of security
Other people's opinions of me,
Judgments about me
My own judgments
Some core false beliefs about myself and life
My conditioning by and attachment to the world
My defenses
The future

I will have to let all of these (and more) go when I die, so I may as well release them before. The bottom line is that I have accumulated so much baggage during my life so far, maybe even other lives too(?), that I can't move on until I let some of it go.

I am life and life goes on, forwards, evolving, unfolding; like a river that flows forever. All of this accumulated crap is in my mind, forming the crust/dust of my ego. Basically at a deep level it is not Real. Only Love is Real and only the unReal can be threatened or lost. END.

Last night was great. The great feeling of love continues to burn deep inside me. This person makes me feel alive! Never felt that way before. And I like the feeling. Someone from my past visited me again in my dreams. Not that that dream keeps on haunting me now, Ok maybe a bit. Hehe. I can't just forget the conversation that we had last night in my dreams. He was there, though I didn't feel something strange.

(We were talking on phone daw..)
***: Hi Ayie! Musta?
Ayie: Uy, ***, musta na?
***: blah blah..
Ayie: Sinong bago natin dyan?
***: Under control pa yung nararamdaman ko nun eh. Si Trissy pero di na ngayon.
Ayie: Trissy? Siya ba yung laging kasama ni Sarah?
***: Ah siya ba yun?
Ayie: Ewan ko.
***: Ikaw may bago?
Ayie: Wala nga ngayon eh.
***: Sige Ayie bye muna, pwede tawagan mo ko?
Ayie: Ok. (Then I dialled his number right away..)

Gowsh.. I don't even know someone like Trissy exists. The picture ain't that clear, but I can't forget those lines he gave me.

Anyway, I'm happy with someone right now, I hope this person won't leave me never.